A weird fiction podcast from John Lombard

Men can be such useless beasts. I can understand the ruined kitchen. That’s just brute appetite - gulps of honey and wine. Although a...

Apply the blue eyeshadow, for sleepless nights of scheming. Affix the pink nose and long moustache, for the twirl of the melodrama...

“Gutweed, you will return that IT billionaire to his California mansion! And put his kneecaps back while you’re at it.” “But Your...

It is a melancholy truth that as we get older, we find it harder to imagine a world that doesn’t have us in it. For 60 years, we bought...

“You’re a little short for a famous detective…” “I’m not a detective. Or famous. Or that short, for my age.” “But aren’t you Orpheus...

The little girl’s hood was red, and it was lined with the fur of a wolf. The lining made the hood warm, a perfect shield against the...

Frank ‘Flimflam’ Fletcher, feted father of funnybooks, fancied by frothing fanatics of four-colour fictions, fetched his febrile foot...

Special message from Galactic Admiral Trox Mandible When a galactic cycle draws to a close, I like to look back on the events of those 10...

Of course, we bow to the samurai. Leave the road. Touch the ground with your forehead. Don’t look in their eyes. Wait for them to pass....

Sometimes, Tripitaka wished the demons would just eat him. After they pounced on him in a swirl of fangs and horns and yellow eyes, he...

The plaintiff: John, Prince of England. Brother to absent King Richard. Stewards a forfeit realm from a brittle cuckoo court. Dubbed...

Before you can dig up a grave, you’ve usually got to get over a fence. Ribbon aimed a lasso onto one of the pickets, to give us a rope to...

Let me tell you about the city. At first, it’s a dot of fire on the horizon. Then you get closer, and you see buildings jutting up like...

I found the little cutie hiding in the coffee grinds. He poked his head out and looked around. He wore a red pointed cap over a smooth,...

We open on a soldier, Swiss, battered and dishevelled, emaciated from a month’s dreary confinement, now wrenched into the bleary light,...

The squealing feral hogs ramaged rapaciously on Wall Street, skewering scuttling, blanching bankers with their piercing tusks and...

Cindy wasn’t right after the late shift. She wouldn’t let us turn on the self-checkers, so we had to ring up sales on the tills. We don’t...

The Beast did not have to pay for the gloves. True, many aristocrats did not settle their bills, on principle. True, residents of...

It was noon on the last day of the 9th month, and Qin Ming hurled himself along the busy streets of Kaifeng, hunted by ghosts. He passed...

There are rules for lifts. Some rules are obvious. If you are part of a group, use one lift, and travel together. Face the door, so you...